Today's Challenges

I do have some challenges today. I won’t go into detail. My purpose in writing is to put into perspective the fact that here I am in all of the glory of the R-Ranch and have been reachable. I have argued against having easy access to telephone service here simply because it is a good excuse to ignore everything that is going on elsewhere. Likewise for TV. However, there are arguments for having the ability to call my husband without having to drive to Dahlonega to “just say hello”, to ask him to change my airline reservation so I can stay another week, to receive messages about various family issues, etc. I can now send email messages from the Lodge or I can sit out in the middle of RV-2 and go on-line thanks to the graciousness of someone who has a Hughes network satellite dish there that does not require a network key. Perhaps there are not as many flies there as at the Lodge. To do this blog entry I decided to write it in Word first and paste it into the Blog when I go on-line. That decision took care of the fact that I don’t want to drag my computer to the Lodge, or anywhere else right now. I am waiting for a visitor that I learned only last night to expect.

I owe Ellen a vote of thanks for telling me about Picasa2, downloadable from Google. I find that it, in combination with my Roxio media management software, allows me to edit photos and transfer them directly to my blog. I owe Terri M. a vote of thanks for encouraging me to buy a digital Walkman and to learn to transfer music onto it to accompany me on my walks. Actually, more than anything, I am enjoying listening to the local FM radio station on it as much as anything. It’s just a little dynamite of a music machine. Lastly, I owe my husband so much. I am so grateful that he is so generous in his encouragement of my travels, and never complains when I am not at home to be with him. I am enjoying my respite alone – for a few more hours- here at the R-Ranch. Just finished reading Brother Odd by Dean Koontz. He is such a delightful writer. Start reading about Odd Thomas in the first book by the same name. There are three in the series. Do it especially if you are an Elvis fan. On to my next chore now – some retrospective blogging about recent trips to California and Florida. I seem to be behind. Pea

Impulsivity and Good Works

I am beginning this with this photo because it is symbolic of how our hearts and mouths can get us into predicaments that are challenging. I am in an on-going discussion with Ellen about finishing projects. She admires me because I seem to be able to finish things and she finds that difficult for herself. I believe that I am an unreliable person that cannot be counted on to do what I say I will do. Because of that I hesitate to "sign up". At least that is what I think. I have a penchant for offering help and then becoming bogged-down in the execution.

My most recent example is offering to make covers for kneelers for the Chapel at the R-Ranch. The R-Ranch is a form of intentional community we have chosen for recreation and relaxation. The problem is that it offers me precious little relaxation. I have some skills and talents and even vision that others often lack. I think that is due to my environment, my experiences and the fact that I was reared with the rule "Can't never could do anything." So, in addition to making the rather rustic looking cushions for the Chapel I offered to also make a cover to be used at weddings. It is a lovely place for a smallish ceremony, seating only about 60-75 people. I could not imagine having a ceremony there with a kneeler at the altar rail that was covered with neutral and brown, woodsy colored fabric.

I shopped for fabric last weekend and found a nice white satin to cover a 66" X 10.5" foam cushion. I found that the piece I bought was not quite long enough and needed some "fiddling with." It has to be removable so it can be stored. That meant that at least one of the other covers has to be removable as well. And, to make them match, they all have to be removable. So that meant zippers. Zippers come in various lengths, and the nearest length I found was 72". See the problem? This is "growing like Topsy" as I used to hear my mother say. It is like taking one of those tiny little dried, compressed sponges that you drop in the tub with your kids and they swell into a 5 foot long fish that throws the kids out of the tub.

Last night I decided that I could sew a few more inches on the machine instead of doing the finishing touches by hand. I was going to be able to make the satin cover removable after all (that had been in doubt because of the length of the zipper). I put it aside until this morning. I felt good - like I was not in over my head. I went to bed, slept well and got up ready to do it right after cereal and coffee. It began to go well, but I kept going back over work I had done by hand, extending the amount of work I had intended to do. It is called perfectionism and not knowing when to stop, another thing of which I have been accused. Just go over this last little part to fasten it down - and BAM - the result in the picture! My machine is a slant needle model, not a curved needle model. I hit the damn zipper. I want to quit.

My discussion with Ellen has included her desire to write and not being able to finish, and my approach to writing. I have a topic. I start. I review. I try to limit it to the topic at hand and not digress. I check my spelling. This is a perfect example. This bent needle is characteristic of the things I run into that could make me quit-the topic. I have made a commitment to others, however, so am going to have to stick with it. Rather, I have made a commitment to myself-the real issue and body of the story. That is something else she has taught me. I don't do it for others. I do it for myself. To feel satisfaction about finishing what I have started. I have to go upstairs and get another needle. I have to get out of this chair and go upstairs and get another needle. I have to. I want to.

Wonderful weather here

The most wonderful thing happened this morning. I laid in bed anticipating another day of yard work, after breakfast, coffee and bird-watching. Much to my surprise, and joy, when I opened my blinds to see the backyard it was raining! Yeah - I'm saved. I was so tired last night after doing-in almost two weeks worth of grass in the back yard that I could barely move. So, I took my towel, coffee and cereal out under the eaves, dried off a chair, and proceeded to watch the birds. All of the time my mind was on blogging and poetry. So, I think this will be a pretty long offering.

Update on the R-Ranch and the Butterfly Garden. I worked hard on it, raking out all of the winter leaves and old mulch, tying down the spent foliage on the daffodils, mourning the loss of a pink coneflower and the deer-eaten red tulips, putting in new plants and herbs and renewing the mini-nugget mulch for the season. Here is a picture as it was a couple of days before I left.

Update on the Spelling Bee - I did not win. I could have won had I not gotten cocky. I was third because I did not take the time to review the letters that had already rolled off my "smart" tongue - "pleur" for pleurisy. I left out the "i" and clearly pronounced "sy". I am still mad at myself. I should have won. I could have won. I would have had more attention, bragging rights and things to mess up my schedule. I did not feel a sense of relief; I was not embarrassed, only piqued at my "cockiness." We were not even into the difficult word list yet. And - I've had pleurisy. It hurts. This is the only way I would ever want to have it again - in a Spelling Bee. I learned a lesson. I liked the venue, and I do want to do it again. The winner and runner-up had to have been 15 years older than I. However, I did get a $20 Borders gift card. There is a book I have been wanting, so I feel fine about that.

Speaking of books, did you know that at the Dollar Store you can buy books for one dollar? They are the left-overs from Wal-Mart, etc. That's where I got the last Dunning book I read. Forgot to tell you that. Why pay more? Then I remembered the Library, where I pay nothing. Oh, well - so much for economy.

About poetry. I had a poem forming in my mind right before I came inside for a refill on my coffee. It was once again about rain and worms. I just love the way that worms come out in the rain. This was sparked by the sight of a bird flying by with a worm in it's beak. I'll give it some more thought.

The Garden - vegetable part. We delayed our recent trip to Georgia so that we could plant the seedlings I had grown. When I returned the other day I could see very little progress, and practically nothing that even the rabbit would have eaten. There is some tiny lettuce. My neighbor, Henry, has big bunches of stuff. I am tempted... It looks as if I will be getting plants from the highschool horticulture class to put in - at least the tomatoe, peppers and beans. I do have onions coming up. The good news is about water. Before I left I bought two 60-gallon rain barrels and got one hooked up to the down spout from the garage gutter system. The other is right below the downspout from the house and doesn't require a direct hook-up. Both were full so I was able to 1) hook up a hose and soaker hose and water the quite dry-looking vegetables (or non-vegetables), and 2) I was able to fill the watering can from the other and water the deck plants. I do feel a sense of accomplishment and feel quite "green". Today's rain will refill the barrels and there will be rain everyday for the next 10 days, according to the forcast. Next green project will be the solar power for the garage - in the green category.

The Garden - flower part. I have huge weeds with stickers on them. Part of the work today was to dig them out. Actually, it will be easier to remove them from the wet ground, so God did me a favor. The Shasta Daisy foliage must have tripled in size during the time I was away. I always wanted Shasta Daisies. I am thrilled about this. The peonies are getting big buds on them; I always wanted to have peonies as well. And-to my surprise and joy, when I returned I saw that the next door neighbor has a lilac tree that hangs into my yard. I love Lilacs. These are some of the redeeming factors about the house (I'm working on feeling more positive about it). I drove over to York for the Spelling Bee, and the whole area is blooming with every color of lilac, and I saw more pink dogwoods than ever down South. Another of my goals is to have a pink dogwood in my yard. I'm just waiting to determine the right spot for it. All the blooms make a big mess - like the double cherry in my front yard, but it is really a beautiful place. I can't wait until my new perennials are ready to put in the ground. They are currently being nurtured at the local highschool by the horticulture students.

Since it is raining, I cannot hang out laundry - which is a need. Back to the dryer. I will be able to work inside the garage, clearing away more dust, rearranging, hauling lumber up-stairs, and getting the stairway ready to paint. That is my goal before Jay returns from his latest trip - that and stripping the wallpaper from the upstairs bathroom and painting it. Thank God for rain.