I recovered

I guess I needed the rude awakening. I got busy and made my doctor's appointments for my mammogram and bone density exams and for a repeat PAP cause I had a questionable one last time. I have had them before so I may be on the way to another colposcopy exam. Anyway, I also found a new dentist and have already been to have my teeth cleaned. The Mammo, etc, is tomorrow.

I bought a Wii and WiiFit so I could exercise at home. I did good for 3 days and then it was a Saturday so I didn't interrupt Jay's morning by doing my exercises. Sunday morning came and it was off to church. Monday came and there was no reason other than I didn't want to get out of bed. I am such a creature of no habit, no routine, no ambition, no perseverance, no focus and no goals. That about wraps me up. I do OK when I have had some successes. I recently got shot down really bad at a time when my energy level was pretty low and it has been hard to rebound. I have had to work to try to shed some very hard words that came my way and I'm really not there yet. That experience invades my thoughts daily, and especially when I am trying to sleep. It has left me with a spirit of resentment that is pretty hard to shake. While I have prayed to be able to forgive it's hard to forget.

Today I'm back on the WiiFit board, gained back a couple of pounds, but it's that kind of weight that can come and go in a day so I'm not discouraged. To be truthful I weigh more now than I have ever weighed in my life. It's pretty hard to admit and to take but I have to keep it all in perspective. I know too much to be fatalistic, but it taking a toll on my body. So I really have to take it one day at a time.

I'm working on some quilting and sewing projects - some Christmas and birthday gifts for family members. I'm tired of working outdoors. Leaf fall is on it's way and soon we will be inundated. The deck will get covered, so soon I will have to rearrange things so it will not be impossible to deal with. A little prevention is needed. So, today is already successful since I got up, exercised, ate breakfast, mended my exercise pants and blogged. And it's only 1:10 p.m. Now, brush teeth, take pills and do more sewing.

A rude awakening

I was just lying there, woozing in and out, hoping for one of those warm, snuggly, almost perfect go back to sleep experiences. We had our first frost warning last night and I had even dealt with the plants. I didn't bring them all in as we are supposed to be in the mid-70's by the end of the week - just gathered them together on the deck under a cover. I coughed a little a couple of times and all of a sudden I had this rush of pain right up into my mouth. It was stomach acid. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I knew we had something in there for acid relief and I found two bottles of Mylanta under the bathroom sink. I grabbed one and drank, forgetting to shake, shake, shake. Uck. So I shook, shook, shook and drank again. Read the instructions and drank some more. How much is enough? I was in shock. That has only happened once or twice in my memory but it is once or twice too much. I lay down again - actually sort of sat up - trying to figure out what had caused that. Several things went through my mind - the two Celebrex I take every day for my "joint pain", the wine I had two days ago, the dinner I ate last night (green beans, sliced tomatoes, brisket and mushrooms, and baked sweet potatoes). Finally I decided I knew what I had done. It was the tomato sandwich I ate right before I went to bed. Who knew?

The rest of the time in bed was spent trying to decide if I was going to get up by 9:00 to go across the street to the Senior Center to get my flu shot. I finally must have slipped back into that warm spot I had yearned for earlier and woke up at 10:57. Of course it was too late for the flu shot since that ended at 11:00. I don't know what my problem is except that I considered that I am having some anxiety about a book discussion group I am leading, am going to go to Disaster Mental Health training with the Red Cross soon, and it is heading towards winter. My inclination is to just shelve all my good intentions and hibernate. So, it's still the retirement blues I think. There was something to be said about others making all the decisions. I'll call my doctor's office and schedule an appointment. I need to go anyway.

Thoughts on Cruising

I took a Fall Foliage Tour from NYC to Halifax, Nova Scotia. It was too early and there was not a single fire-kissed leaf anywhere. I also realized that I have been immensely spoiled by living abroad for extended periods of time. Being on a cruise, to me, was like being with the people who lived on military bases and never shopped anywhere but in the American Exchanges or Commissaries, or learned the language, or did anything but take arranged tours to places of interest. I guess the exception was The Netherlands, where there was no family housing and everyone had to live "on the economy." But activities and shopping were, for the most part, confined to the military bases nearby. I was bored. I didn't hang out in the bars or Casino on board, and one can only eat so much. And the lines. I really hate lines. Years ago I decided I would either be first in line or last - or, planning ahead to be in line, taking a book to read while waiting. For a meal I know I will have fewer decisions to make if I go last, because there will be less to choose from - except on a cruise, where the line seems to never end. As often as possible I opted to go to the Dining Room where I could get table service - especially for breakfast. I learned my lesson one morning when I got up for another coffee before I had my last bit of meat and cheese and returned to find my place cleared. Very efficient. Very annoying. They offered to get me more of what I had, but when I returned myself to find the meat and cheese what I had before was not to be found.

I also found that I was glad to never have cruised before. I had nothing to compare my cruise to and could enjoy what I was doing - not constantly comparing this cruise to the 5 or 7 others I had experienced. I actually met someone who had been on 54 cruises - WHY? Can't they cook?

The tours were nice, but the New Scotland can hardly compare with the Old, and there was too little time to muck about in museums, etc. I could have opted to go off on my own in a taxi or on foot, but could not have managed to get to three lighthouses in Portland that way. I did learn interesting historic facts about all the areas, and nice stories about locals. The guides were locals from the villages we visited and it was apparent they were very proud of their little towns and their histories. These were all founded by loyalists transplanted from the lower 13 after the Revolution. They prevailed in very difficult terrain most of which was impossible to farm.

My most exciting moment of each day was to return to the stateroom to see what towel "critter" had been folded by Carlos and placed on my bed. I went to a "towel-folding" class and bought a book. I will be holding a class at the next R-Ranch get-together. It was so entertaining. I also sat through a 3-hour art auction - just for the experience, and did see artwork that I loved. My favorite was an oil portrait of Mohammed Ali. Another artist, named Agam I believe, did wonderful linear work that really appealed to me. Unaffordable but appealing.

I enjoyed the train ride up from Harrisburg to Penn Station and learned how really easy it is to get to the heart of NYC. Getting on the ship and off was easy and I encounter no real delays, etc. Of course, I went armed with my motto of "No expectations and no disappointments." I was not disappointed. I also have little to no desire to do it again - unless my husband is with me. It would be a good adventure for the two of us, and the reasonable price makes it attractive.